I think a girl can tell when she has a true friend or a best friend when she can truly be happy for them in situations. A lot of the times, as females, if another woman has something great or something that we want, we cant be happy for them because there’s this innate sense of jealousy that rises within us. From my experience, when you’ve found a true friend, the innate sense of jealousy that you want to feel is overtaken with a true sense of happiness for your friend.
Example. My roommate and I are both on the journey to natural hair. She is, however, about 5 months ahead of me in her journey because when I opted to get a perm, she didn’t. One day I was doing her hair and her natural hair was on point! Her curls were poppin’ and it was just really cool.
Now of course, I wanted that. I wanted my hair to look exactly like that. I wanted to be farther along in my journey like her. But I wasn’t. So, my choices were to be jealous of her or to be happy for her and know that if I worked hard enough, one day my curls would look like that too.
The first feeling that came to me without me even thinking about it was jealousy. But the funny thing is, as quickly as that feeling of jealousy had come over me, I looked at her curls again and just got excited! I was so happy for her! I knew this was something she wanted, and because it was something she wanted and it was something that made her happy I couldn’t help but be happy! Crazy, right?
She couldn’t even see her curls the way I could see them so I had to describe them to her and put her finger where they were so she could feel them and feel the same joy that I was feeling for her.
If that would have been anybody else, it wouldn’t have happened. My jealousy would have nipped all that in the bud. But she’s my true friend and so I was happy for her as if her hair was my own.
This is how I think a girl can tell when she has a true friend. When our jealousy is outweighed by our happiness of wanting to see them succeed.
After reading Amy Chau’s article on Chinese mothers in the Wall Street Journal…I decided that if I am blessed to bare children, I will be a Chinese mother. The article has moved me to action, so to speak. I’m so glad she broke it down the way she did. Basically, Western mothers care too much about their children’s feelings than their success, or at the most they care about their feelings as much as they care about their success. Chau says that the key is to solely care about the child’s success and ignore how they feel.
The example I thought of while reading the article was the little Asian girl Connie and her dad Kahn from King of the Hill. You know how he makes sure that she is perfect in everything she does, how she’s not really allowed to do what we consider fun things because she always has to practice her violin and what not? That’s exactly what the Chinese mother does to her children. Although it goes against pretty much everything we’ve learned here in America about parenting and it goes against what all the experts say about making sure your child enjoys themselves and feels competent in all they do, I truly think that the Chinese mother model is a lot better than the western model.
You have to read the article to fully understand. When reading it, it’s like your instinct is to say, “NO give the child a break, let her enjoy her time”, but when you see and think about the Chinese kids you’ve interacted with and how they are so successful and so disciplined in their school work, I think I want that for my children more than I want them to enjoy extracurriculars at school. Ya know? Because I feel like they’ll enjoy that money when they get grown more than they would have enjoyed being in the school play, or winning their tennis match.
Also, I am working on figuring out what the Black mother model is. And of course these terms are used loosely because every mother and parent is different regardless of similar race, but usually, there are some underlying similarities. Ultimately, I think the Black mother model is just going to go back to my post on the lack of culture in Black America.
Last night I let my pre-poo consisting of: a lot of aloe vera gel, 3 spoons of castor oil, a teaspoon of evoo (extra virgin olive oil) and a squirt of Burt’s Bees Avocado Butter Pre Shampoo in overnight. My hair loved it.
Then I rinsed it out, shampooed, did an oil rinse with evoo, and conditioned with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. My hair is so soft. Even my hair on the ends thats still relaxed is soft, which is nice because it always gives me a hard time.
How people that don’t believe in God are still going to go to hell and suffer. Why waste your life? Like seriously, even if you do worship the devil on earth, he’s not going to like…give you any special accommodations in hell. You’re not going to have a good time down there. The devil is laughing at you right now. Everything he does is an attempt to get back at God. You participating with him and helping him out does not make you his buddy or anything. There won’t be sexy, scantily clad girls there or an open bar or a good time. Those that “worship” the devil on earth are going to live in eternal damnation and suffering for eternity just like every one else who goes there. Really. Think about it.
MAANNN…I don’t know if I can “support” lil wayne anymore after reading those comments he allegedly said. Now I know what you’re thinking. How do you know he actually said that stuff? That girl could just be making this all up.
Yea. This is true. She could be making it all up. But when you have a track record like lil wayne, saying things against darker skinned women…why shouldn’t I believe her? And even if the statements aren’t true, the man has proven that he has something against his own race. Which is so, so sad.
The comments this man made are a f’n shame. I mean…gosh, his IGNORANCE makes me want to cuss. And to think of all the people he is influencing! First of all, his whole little group of young money-ers who probably treat him like god. And then all of his fans! Especially the young impressionable children! Ugh! It’s a shame that people like me are out here trying to encourage women and say there’s nothing wrong with you, love yourself as you are, anything else is ignorance, you don’t have to be light-skinned to be pretty blah blah blah and here comes this negro just totally undermining how far we as black people have come with his non-sense! BAAAHHHH! It just pisses me off, ya know?
It’s not right. I’m so upset. Im upset that he is soo….whats the word? So…evil? So dumb, so inconsiderate, so ignorant, so.. I can’t even think of the right word but he is all of that horrible stuff and yet black people still support him. Dark girls still support him. It’s like, ‘say what you want about us, talk bad about us, down us, we still love you and we’re still going to support you,’ which gives him no reason to stop doing what he’s doing because he knows no matter how bad he talks about us he’s still going to get our money.
I mean seriously.
We’re supporting this dude although he talks about us in his music! This is so wrong. Black men with daughters shouldn’t support this dude, black women with daughters shouldn’t support this dude…I mean..geez.
And what is he doing to help us? What is he saying to encourage us? Is a little of his money going to help the black community? I mean what is he doing that’s so good that we can overlook things like this and still support him? What is he doing for us? Nothing. Nothing but making music, spittin lyrics that are going to harm the precious minds of children. Put us back just a couple of hundred years. It really is a shame, man.
A shame that what Willie Lynch said about pitting the dark skinned slaves and the light skinned slaves against each other is still alive today.
I don’t mind that dude has an opinion. I don’t mind that dude prefers light skinned girls. We all have our preferences. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok for him to say that a dark skinned girl would look better light. No sir. She looks fine just the way she is. She wouldn’t look better no way than the way she was born.
Just a shame.
I feel like we were just put back a century by those statements.
I guess all I can do is pray for him, ya know? Pray for our country. Pray that the positive that people are trying to do in helping black women’s self-worth, self-confidence, self-image, self-esteem is stronger than people like lil’ wayne who are working actively to destroy it.
Man…I can’t help but feel like people like lil’ wayne are winning.
But I know that my God is bigger than lil’ wayne. My God is bigger than all of this and if God be for me then who can be against me? That’s right. Nobody.
Not having to take cover at the sight of a rain drop.
Being able to jump right into the shower and let water run from the top of your head to the tips of your toes….I hate showercaps
Hand in fro disease. Need I say more, playing in your curlies is so joyous…..Don’t recommend it though.
The deep longing in your gut for a big bodacious afro…….oh what joy!!
Understanding such terminologies as TWA, Prepoo and DC
Looking forward to weekend just to sit and play with your hair, wash, deep condition and style….Such simplicity but oh so satisfying
Loving that you can let your man play in your hair, not scared that he’s gonna catch a weave track and your hair smells of yummy tropical coconut and vanilla.
Appreciating that natural hair is beautiful not matter what length or texture.Natural hair is also very versatile and can be worn wavy, straight or curly.
Rocking natural hair shows a true sense of character and self acceptance. Its not easy being the only girl in the club with a huge afro in a sea of weaves and straight hair..but damn it definitely makes you the life of the party..
Lastly being able to accessorise your outfit with your hair is certainly fun!!!!