So many black women are on the search for “good hair”.
But in their search for good hair, they are destroying their hair. They are actually turning thier hair into bad hair. Why? Because it’s unhealthy.
If your hair is healthiest with a perm, then that is good hair. If your hair is healthiest just the way it grows, then that is good hair. Good hair isn’t necessarily hair that is comb-able in natural state. When ladies realize that, they can start taking care of their hair. Nurturing it. Growing it.
Realize that ‘good hair/bad hair’, is a complex (a related group of emotionally significant ideas that are completely or partly repressed and that cause psychic conflict leading to abnormal mental states or behavior.)
A complex held by the ignorant. A complex engrained into our minds. Don’t let society tell you your hair isn’t “good” just because it’s not what they want. When you take care of your hair, when you are happy with your hair, when you’re not doing your hair in order to prove to everyone that you do have good hair..you truly do have GOOD HAIR.
Educate people, my friends. Don’t let another little black girl grow up thinking she has to be mixed or has to chemically alter her hair to be good because she doesn’t.
I have this problem where…I feel like I’m stuck between being a woman, and being independent.
What do I mean?
I’m a girl and I’m working on my bachelors degree, I plan on getting my masters degree. Basically, I’m working to be independent. On the other hand, I have, and have had since I was young, this deep desire to be somebody’s wife and to take care of them while they take care of me monetarily. I’ve been raised to know that the man is the head of the household. His job is to work and take care of me.
So you see my conundrum? Being trained to be independent but instinctually dependent. I woke up this morning and thought about how amazing my wedding will be, thought about how my children will be…and then I stopped myself and thought, this is not something a college-educated young lady needs to be thinking about. Think about your degree, think about your career, think about success. Don’t think about your life dependent on a man. But no matter what degree I get and what I want to accomplish, more than all that, I want to have a family. I want to have a husband. I want to have a nice house. And if all else fails, I expect my husband to provide that for me.
But that’s not what we’re taught at the university. All the talk is ‘independence. Women can do everything a man can do.’
I don’t know how else to explain it. I don’t know how else to defend my thoughts to myself. I guess, this is just how I see my life. This is how I was raised to see my life. Furthermore, I think every woman, somewhere deep inside, wants to be taken care of, but pop culture tells us that we don’t need a man. We can do it all on our own. Being single is the way to go. You don’t need anybody.
Well I’m sorry pop culture. I’m a hopeless romantic, and as much as I want to be successful, I want to nurture a family of my own more. And successful is a relative term. Maybe success is reproducing good upstanding citizens to carry on the world as we know it.
But hey, the world’s ending in 2012 anyway so what am I trippin’ about?